Desiring Righteous Desires.

I want to say something really classy and eloquent to begin this blog, but first I must refrain and reflect on the obvious thought running through your mind: "Is he seriously going to go off on a rant about his opening paragraph to another blog again?!?!". Yes I seriously am. Not because I need to nor is it because I want to; but it is in fact directly linked to the amount of humor that has presented itself in the souls who read said openers and laugh their metaphorical faces off. Do I then require an opener much like the last one in which I describe said opener while I'm opening with it, whilst exhausting all forms of witty banter and fulfilling the main point of the entire opener? Yes I do. Why you may ask? Because I am known to be funny and at this juncture in space and time I believe that this remarkable feast of words will attribute the rest of the writing finely, a silver lining if you will. Consequently I have just accomplished my task of writing without even beginning with any form of statement, point, or clarity for that matter. The accomplishment being that I first desired to write something classy and eloquent after which I realized as I wrote that I too wished for humor and even more than your humor I wanted my own, which to me is far greater; for if you laugh I have achieved an audience but if I laugh I have achieved just that, a laugh. Above eloquence, class, and both of our own humor I really longed to confuse you. I hope that I have done just that... Anyways... Moving along.

In previous blogs I believe I have referenced the point of dreams, goals, or destiny which ever it may have been. In these points some where I am sure that I have mentioned my dream to disciple people for The Kingdom Of God. (I only mention this again for those of you who have not read those blogs) Now that this has been established I can proceed with my story telling and you can proceed with your story reading. Two or so weeks ago I was in my bed having a conversation with God, not to be confused with prayer I believe that they are two different events. One being less formal and more of a friendship (conversation) the other being of the utmost honor and reverence (prayer). (Which is not to say that both can not be held at the same time and are non-interchangeable with one another, because they are)

Lately, for the past 23 years or so, I have been one of those "worry-about-the-future" types, you know "a human". These last couple of weeks however I have been a little over worried, especially for one who has an almighty God helping him every step of the way =). (I know symbol faces are not conducive to writing, but I like them so...=P ) Back to the point of our story: There I was in bed having a conversation with God.

"God I'm really worried about the next few years, you know like money and stuff. A lot is happening and I'm scared its not going to work out or I'm going to go into huge debt or something. Maybe you could just like give me say... A hundred and fifty grand...yeah that would be good. Ill be good with it and use it wisely and stuff... it would just help put life at ease a bit...what da ya say?" This is clearly the delusional thinking of someone forgetting that God is way cooler than what we know.

"Son you want a hundred and fifty thousand dollars? Here I have an idea, you can have anything you want all you have to do is ask, my whole kingdom if you'd like. So do you want a hundred and fifty grand?" God sure knows how to turn the tables on a guy.

Seriously, I consider saying yes to the money for a moment. Wish I could say that I was righteous enough not to. " Well... No God I don't want the money. You know my heart I want to advance your Kingdom and I want to help you make disciples."

"Well can you make disciples with no money?" God asked just to make sure that I understood His kingdom a little bit better.

"Ha! Yes I can do that." Said with a mild disappointment but also satisfaction both resulting from the smell of burning flesh in the room. (spiritual flesh of course, its not like I roast people in my room...)

This story is meant to stir the heart of desire, is it righteous inside of us? My desire, pre-holy-spirit-conviction, was not. Yes I could bring up the argument that the reason I wanted the money was purely to advance God's Kingdom by giving me the means to quickly and easily build a life in which I could speak into others with out having the burden of finances on my back. But doesn't Jesus take that burden as well? And is my ministry in this life defined by my bank account? is my life? Is righteousness simply the means to be able to accomplish the advancement of The Kingdom in the simplest manner or is it succeeding despite circumstance and faithfully enduring, with Christ, through which ever trial that is set before you? Is God's Kingdom limited by funding? "Sorry can't build today, we just simply don't have the cash to admonish people about right living."

Some of you, if not all, are agreeing with me right now but at the same time having the thought that "But money would help." and your right, it does help. However our faith should not be limited by the trivial matter known as a budget. (Trivial in comparison to the glory of God, not trivial as in you shouldn't budget...that is foolish.) Now to a bigger point: Nearly a week after this conversation with God my friend, whom I used to live a reckless life with, came to visit me. After a weekend of fun, church, and fun he went home. I later received a text message about his want for more, his attraction to the life God had given to me, he asked me to teach him how to obtain righteous living..... Ummm what if I had asked for the hundred and fifty grand? A scary thought to be sure.

What do you want?

That sentence I write as a lonely loner in the middle of the page so as to allow you to fully reflect on the meaning. Such a small sentence thrown around flippantly in our day to day lives, every time we go to a fast food joint, or movie theater. Asked so sparingly through out relationships and friendships. The answers delivered upon billboards and inside of advertisements and television programs. Has man ever found satisfaction inside such boxes? Or has the destiny and satisfaction of desire only held true in the unveiling of moral words like honor, valor, strength, purity. I would vote for the latter. You may ask how words of such meaning would be found in such decisions as to take the money or to plead for someones salvation. Well isn't honor found in the respect of another? Is valor not found in the willingness to be knowingly shot into a mystery of danger without having the slightest clue of how it will be accomplished? Strength would be fighting against ones self-desire. And purity, making a decision that you know goes against all human conditions so as to shine forth the glory of Christ. Yes these words do reign truth in the answer to the question: What do you want?. But only if the answer reigns truth itself; how many times we have lied to our own souls by answering this question with "Money" "Clothing" "A vacation" "A relationship". Seek first the Kingdom of God and these will be added unto you...

My point is to challenge all of us to begin desiring righteous desires, seeking out Gods will above our own. Challenge accepted?... Anyways thanks for reading! until next time friends...