Worshipping in the Presence of Fart.

A conference was held this weekend at my church. Attendee's were youth and young adult ages; making it a very loud, fanatical conference indeed. The underlining message of said conference was 'Seek his presence' (speaking obviously of God. If your confused on which one I mean; research each God in existence, pray for something different to each one (something not silly like a million dollars) , and the God that actually answers is the God that I'm talking about.)

 Anyways it was a very impacting conference for me; teaching me humility, in that I am still needing much work in the area of.... well me. The point I want to get to though is not that of what the conference did for me or even what it did for others... Which I can guarantee can be summed up in the short explanation that "it changed lives". No the point I want to reach is that of an explanation of why there are those that feel it is necessary to allow their bowels to move an ignorant gas out of itself during the worst time possible... Yes you guessed it, the time I speak of is worship.

 There I stood, the illumination of the intelligent lights scattered across the walls and ceiling with interesting figures and shapes that could almost distract one from the worship of ones God, counteracted by closing ones eyes. My arms held in the air as an act of surrender unto my Creator, the music soaking into the very fibers of my being and leading me into a gentle state of love for my Father. His presence slowly slipping into my conscience, not a feeling that any mortal can possibly understand; in fact the feeling itself is more of a knowing than a feeling at all, more of a comfort or a sense/understanding that all is good and your are indeed loved no matter what you do/done. A feeling of relief over flowed my body as I felt the peace of knowing that He would soon take care of all my current problems and lead me out of the storm as He has done countless times before. My body began to sway to the rhythm of the beautiful sounds of heaven falling around the scene. My tongue, being allowed to speak in its heavenly language, began to breathe out the sort of indescribable, untamable, unspeakable speech that God planted inside of my soul. (If you are unfamiliar with this, consult your local Bible and research 'Speaking in tongues'). As I stood, so euphoric and peaceful, the unique and unbelievable smell of someone's day old mcdonald flatulence began to waft upward into my nostrils, providing me with a gaging sensation followed by the immediate ceasing of all things Holy and beautiful going on in my spirit at that particular moment......... Why God?..... Why?

 The point of the excerpt is simply this: DON'T FART DURING WORSHIP !!!!!!!!!!