Michael, You're a Horse.

   

"Michael, you’re a Horse."  God’s eloquence yet again surprises me.

    

"Thanks?" I say or ask.

   

"What I mean is that you are a wild animal. You have always been wild. Not in a good and fun way. You ran in the fields doing whatever you pleased for most of your life.  The problem with this is that you had no one to take care of you. More importantly you had no purpose. You were just a horse running in a field. Woopty- doo. Then you found my stable. I provided you with a warm bed, food, water, love and I gave you purpose. I showed you that a horse could be useful. I showed you that after sometime learning a horse could be used for servant-hood, work, and even battle. A horse could be the very thing that carries a King into a kingdom to conquer it. I showed you that a horse could change the world.”

“Oh I see where this is going. That’s awesome God. Giving me vision for my future, that’s fantastic. I’m going to be a horse that changes the world.” My naive nature and pride know no bounds.

“No Michael. I have not come to discuss your future. I have come to warn you of your present. You have been staying at my stable for some time now and it’s been good. It’s been working. However, you are still not yet broken of your wild nature. There are many times when you jump the fence to play in the fields. You go out and come in. You have been un-stable (Good pun people, you should applaud.) For a horse to be used, it needs to not only be able to stand at the fence looking in the fields and hesitate jumping. No, for a horse to be used it needs to know that those fields will never be an option. For a horse to be used, it must be fully submitted to its master. For a horse to one day change the world, it must not be wild. Michael for a horse to be used, it cannot be like you.”

“Oh…Here hold on God; let me just clean up my teeth off the ground.” My stomach was in knots.

I am, if you don't know this about me already, a bit of a 'shoot questions first and ask bullets later' type of guy; or something like that. Some of you believe that I wrote that phrase wrong; the others had only skimmed it and are now re-reading it because I have pointed out that there is an error in that statement.  However the truth is that I purposely wrote 'shoot questions first and ask bullets later'… Okay I actually didn't, but I thought I would keep it because it was funny and then after that I thought what an appropriate illustration to use for this blog.  Funny how that works.

Anyways, when I say that I 'shoot questions first and ask bullets later,' I am referring to my relationship with God or, more importantly, the process I can go through with God. This is when I am asking God if I can do something or if my plans are a ‘go’ in his kingdom, not when He is asking me to do something: That is another process entirely, that involves kicking, screaming, and some drool… Now what I mean by this statement, “Shoot questions first and as bullets later” is that I tend to shoot questions that are loaded. I shoot out questions towards God that I already have the answers to, and questions that don't really need to be asked.  These questions get shot off before I make a decision, I don't listen for the answers, I just shoot. So when I am considering doing something, that has any significant weight or value in my life, I use this tactic with God. This system generally allows me to justify my idea, logically work out the possible results, and easily take God out of the equation so that I don't have to hear answers like 'no' or even worse... 'patience'.

Now comes the second part, 'ask bullets later', this metaphor might be a stretch... But let’s try anyways. The 'asking bullets later' is a direct result of ‘shooting questions first.’ I make my decisions based on the questions that I have shot and once the decisions are made I am faced with consequences. Once I have been faced with these consequences I have to evaluate the goodness or badness of them. Now just to be clear when God is not involved or I kick him out of the decision making process with my ‘question shooting’ the consequences always end up being bad. So, when I am faced with a bad consequence, I have to evaluate the situation and see where everything went downhill. Since I have no questions to ask God because I, beforehand, shot those questions down, I have to resort to another area of the situation to find clues as to what went wrong.  Now the only things I can ask are the bullets, the bullets being my own failed attempts at answering the questions.

Truthfully, this stretched out metaphor has probably become very confusing for any readership that I have and so I’m going to break this down into a simpler format. Yaayyy!

Shooting questions first:  There is a glass of unknown liquid and I'm thirsty. I initially think to myself 'I want to drink that'. However, a small voice arises that is better known as the Holy Spirit. This voice of God asks specific things like 'should I drink that? Is it Gods will? Is it sin?' Now this is where I begin to shoot questions: 'well what’s wrong with it? It looks good doesn't it? I’m thirsty aren't I? Can't I stop drinking if I realize it’s bad? What’s the worst that could happen if I try it? Right?'

               

             Now obviously reviewing this series of questions one would believe that there is no reason not to drink the liquid.  And so I drink it and almost immediately after I realize that this is not what I wanted.  It’s sweet, tasty, and good but I'm thirsty for something that will help quench my thirst. I don't want something that gives me a momentary relief, I want something that lasts. I want water but I'm drinking pop! Crap!

Ask bullets later:  This is where I have to go back and try and learn something from the mess that I made. I look over the blown apart bits of questions that lay riddled throughout my mind and I am left asking the bullets. The bullets aren't the same questions and they aren't the way in which I asked. They are actually the answers I gave to shoot the questions.

What’s wrong with it:  Nothing.

 It looks good doesn't it:  Yes.

 I’m thirsty aren't I: Yes. 

Can't I stop drinking if I realize it’s bad: Yes. 

What’s the worst that can happen if I try it: Nothing.

Right: Right.

                

            Now what can I learn from these bullets: Nothing, yes, yes, yes, nothing, right.

Well these bullets actually tell me what I can learn from them... Nothing.  And since nothing is learned, nothing changes. This is a continuous pattern used when trying to find answers with the almighty, not only in my life but in many people’s lives. (If it wasn't I wouldn't write about it) How can the will of God ever be sought out, how can it ever be acquired, if we won’t shut up and make the hard decision of actually listening to God?

Some of you may say, ‘It’s obvious that you don’t need to ask the bullets Michael. You could just re-ask the same questions to yourself and learn from those.” Sorry your wrong reader. If you act based on a particular set of questions and you base those questions around obtaining the answer you want, you will always have the same answers. For instance, if you review the specific questions I asked, there is actually no other answer for them. Whether they be asked before or after deciding to act. The questions I ask are specifically manufactured to provide only one answer: What I’m about to do is okay. Why would I use questions that only form one justified answer? Because I’m a manipulative son-of-a-gun! Before I even ask, I have made up my mind and so as only to justify the reasoning in my heart. Therefore, it follows that going back and re-asking these questions will do nothing for me. I must seek out an answer elsewhere and since I have kicked God out of the equation by denying his questions and justifying my own, I inevitably have only one place to look. My lame answers. I would ask God where I went wrong, BUT I ALREADY KNOW! I went wrong when I kicked Him out and used my manipulative questions to shoot down anything he had to say. I’m being very transparent here and I hope that doesn't change your view of me… I’m obviously allowing God to conquer this area in my life or I wouldn't be writing about it.

This is one of my fields as a horse. I make my own decisions. Many times I make these decisions out of logic and reason rather than out of faith and submission. My heart wants. My flesh wants. My mind wants. My wants birth my decisions. My decisions give way to my consequences. This is the equation that keeps me where I am, keeps me stuck. This formula for decision making is what keeps me from being the horse that walks my King into a kingdom to conquer it. This process does not change the world.

Gods process on the other hand is different; God see’s needs. Your heart needs. Your flesh doesn't need. Your mind needs. His kingdom needs. When needs are met it births thankfulness. Thankfulness gives way to submission. Submission fuels purpose. Purpose is the key to fulfillment.

I don’t want to be a “Shoot questions first, ask bullets later, wild horse.” I want to be a “Listen to God, submit to his will, and change the world horse.” The only way I can do that is to change the formula. To do the opposite of what I want. The only way we will ever be the kind of people, the kind of Christians that change this world, is by changing ourselves first.  

2 Corinthians 5:17: ‘Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.’

Its been a while, lets talk about choices.

     I haven't posted in a while and for this I am sorry. However life for the last few months has been busier than ever. I recently moved out into a new home, which I love. I went to Mexico for 2 weeks, which I loved. I am still in school and just realized that I volunteer an average of 90 hours per month, I know right  "what the heck." Im not telling you this to brag about my cool trip or about my dedication to altruism, all of this need not be verbalized hahaha. No I am honestly just trying to justify the lack of blog posts. Ok enough small talk and banter, I have learned an important lesson this month and need to relay said teaching.

     The specifics of this story I cannot and will not go into like I normally do, so do not ask. I will however provide a basic outline of the events that were conductive to the lesson I have learned.

     This last month I was faced with a great test or lesson or whatever you want to call it. I was given opportunity. The opportunity I was given was something I had been praying for, seeking after, and was something that could one day benefit my future dreams, desires, and goals. You could say that this opportunity, if met with success, would have been life changing. So what did I do? Did I grab opportunity by the horns and take off ? Did I let opportunity pass my by like an idiot? Ill tell you what I did, I fought, struggled and wrestled with God for days on end because He revealed that this was not the opportunity for me.

     Now I know what your thinking because its what I thought "If thats what you were praying for shoudn't that be it?" Turns out no.

     When Jesus walked through the desert for 40 days and nights and was tempted by the devil, the devil offered Jesus his dreams. He gave Jesus the opportunity to become king of all the Earths nations with no need of enduring the cross. This is what Jesus wanted, prayed for, and was ultimately sent for. But Jesus knew that no matter how good it looked and no matter how much He wanted it, it was not the opportunity for Him.

     Let's get somethinng straight, the opportunity presented to me was not the devil. The opportunity placed in front of me was a good thing. It was just not the one God had purposed for me. I used the illustration of Jesus in the desert to give an appropriate example of what I mean by "not the right opportunity for me." Because the lesson that I have learned is about knowing Gods will, purpose and design.

     It took a lot for me to understand Gods will at this time. I wanted to jump on this opportunity like white on rice, black on a pan, something on a something...I really wanted to give it a whirl dangit! You get the idea? That being said, the last thing I was listening to was "No." I had to pray everyday, search the word, and most importantly seek council with the spiritual authority in my life. I didn't want to believe the answer let alone follow it, but the truth is the only thing that matters.
   
     Lets put It this way, say you absolutely hate hate hate breaking the law, it pains you to break the law. Now your driving in your car and its awesome because there Is no speed limit, "bbbbboooyaaaaaaa I hit 250 kilometers an hour!" But just then you see a limit sign displaying the words 'max. 50km/hr.' Now as much as you love going 250 it absolutely pains you to break the law, and the law states that you need to only go 50. This may be a poor analogy and I don't know if you will even understand but this is what the truth is to me. If I go on living day to day not knowing the speed limit or Gods will, I can just go on doing whatever I want; however, it pains me to go against his will, so when I see a limit sign, no matter how bad I want to keep going... I know the truth now and I have to slow down.

     As a Christian I believe It is of the utmost importance to seek out the will of God. I believe that Christians need to be able to surrender themselves to Gods will even in a time where you believe with all your heart that you are right, where the thing you want is seated right in front of you, I believe that as Christians we need to know the difference between Gods will and our own.

     I had a very hard time, more than most of you will ever know, but I stepped out in faith and let the opportunity go. Some people may one day call me a fool, some may even right now but I know that my God has seen this faithfulness and will return to me with a full reward, whether on Earth or in Heaven. So my message to you is this: Try to find the will of God in every decision, pursue His purposes, seek first the kingdom of God and these will be added unto you.

     Anyways thanks for reading and I hope this meant something to you. Ill be back again, hopefully sooner rather than later.

...Words Do Not Become Us.

 I'm back baby!

  Some of you may remember my old blog "Moments in Heaven." I actually deleted that blog many moons ago; mostly because I was busy and didn't want to write anymore. But lately I have felt an urge to get back on it. God has given me a talent and passion to write for people and I think that if I don't use that talent, I would be failing in a very important part of my life. This new blog still contains all my old writings, so don't cry. Really the only thing that has or will change is the title of the blog. My life has changed drastically in the last year and so I have changed, thus in turn my blog title has changed.

Now, now, now before you go saying:

 "but Michael, the title 'Words Do Not Become us' for a blog is a little contradicting and humorous don't you think?"

 I already know that I am funny, you do not need to reassure me. :) So lets get to the point of this blog, or at least see if we can make one.

  The late Heather Blackburn, my mother, had an unforgettable quote she would recite to me before she died - "We are men of action, words do not become us." The humour behind this quote is that it is actually from an old cheesy movie we used to watch and love together, "The Princess Bride." Even more humorous is that my mother would quote it wrong. "We are men of action, lies do not become us" is the real quote made in the movie. I do not believe that she was dumb and didn't know the quote and I don't believe that she was trying to be humorous. Knowing my mother she liked the idea but at the same time thought "Their thinking to small" And so changed it to  broader more profound statement.

 It is these words that have been ringing in my ears for the last 6 months. I feel like life is short, in fact I know that it is. I don't want to get to the other-side and have my name be forgotten on this one. I don't want to live my life one t.v program at a time. I don't want to live my life crying over circumstance. I want to stand taller. I want to leave my mark. I want to earn my stripes. I want to change the world. I want to be a champion.

  "Michael why are you writing this then? Go out and do it."

  I'm writing it because I want you to join me. I'm writing it because writing is one of my actions, as much as it is words, its me - not talking about writing words. I want these words to affect you, to change you, to change the world.

  What action have you taken lately? What have you wanted to take? You want to paint... go to the art store.You want to see the top of a mountain... start climbing. You want to lose weight... stop eating chips.You want people to hear your voice... get wisdom. You want purpose, destiny, and the impossible... Follow God.

  "Michael how is this Biblically focused?"

  God has nothing but the impossible in mind for you. He actually created you as a champion. Men that followed God thousands of years ago, still affect the world today. Their stories are still heard today. David, Moses, Ruth, Esther, Judah, all were men and women of action... words did not become them. Join them. Follow their actions.

  I'm not saying go out and do something crazy... unless you want to. It can all start with something so small, like writing a blog or making a phone call. Each action unique to the individual taking it.

  I hope that this helps you, breaks something in you, changes you. These words have changed me and I would really enjoy some company. see you all next time and thanks for reading.

   

  

Desiring Righteous Desires.

I want to say something really classy and eloquent to begin this blog, but first I must refrain and reflect on the obvious thought running through your mind: "Is he seriously going to go off on a rant about his opening paragraph to another blog again?!?!". Yes I seriously am. Not because I need to nor is it because I want to; but it is in fact directly linked to the amount of humor that has presented itself in the souls who read said openers and laugh their metaphorical faces off. Do I then require an opener much like the last one in which I describe said opener while I'm opening with it, whilst exhausting all forms of witty banter and fulfilling the main point of the entire opener? Yes I do. Why you may ask? Because I am known to be funny and at this juncture in space and time I believe that this remarkable feast of words will attribute the rest of the writing finely, a silver lining if you will. Consequently I have just accomplished my task of writing without even beginning with any form of statement, point, or clarity for that matter. The accomplishment being that I first desired to write something classy and eloquent after which I realized as I wrote that I too wished for humor and even more than your humor I wanted my own, which to me is far greater; for if you laugh I have achieved an audience but if I laugh I have achieved just that, a laugh. Above eloquence, class, and both of our own humor I really longed to confuse you. I hope that I have done just that... Anyways... Moving along.

In previous blogs I believe I have referenced the point of dreams, goals, or destiny which ever it may have been. In these points some where I am sure that I have mentioned my dream to disciple people for The Kingdom Of God. (I only mention this again for those of you who have not read those blogs) Now that this has been established I can proceed with my story telling and you can proceed with your story reading. Two or so weeks ago I was in my bed having a conversation with God, not to be confused with prayer I believe that they are two different events. One being less formal and more of a friendship (conversation) the other being of the utmost honor and reverence (prayer). (Which is not to say that both can not be held at the same time and are non-interchangeable with one another, because they are)

Lately, for the past 23 years or so, I have been one of those "worry-about-the-future" types, you know "a human". These last couple of weeks however I have been a little over worried, especially for one who has an almighty God helping him every step of the way =). (I know symbol faces are not conducive to writing, but I like them so...=P ) Back to the point of our story: There I was in bed having a conversation with God.

"God I'm really worried about the next few years, you know like money and stuff. A lot is happening and I'm scared its not going to work out or I'm going to go into huge debt or something. Maybe you could just like give me say... A hundred and fifty grand...yeah that would be good. Ill be good with it and use it wisely and stuff... it would just help put life at ease a bit...what da ya say?" This is clearly the delusional thinking of someone forgetting that God is way cooler than what we know.

"Son you want a hundred and fifty thousand dollars? Here I have an idea, you can have anything you want all you have to do is ask, my whole kingdom if you'd like. So do you want a hundred and fifty grand?" God sure knows how to turn the tables on a guy.

Seriously, I consider saying yes to the money for a moment. Wish I could say that I was righteous enough not to. " Well... No God I don't want the money. You know my heart I want to advance your Kingdom and I want to help you make disciples."

"Well can you make disciples with no money?" God asked just to make sure that I understood His kingdom a little bit better.

"Ha! Yes I can do that." Said with a mild disappointment but also satisfaction both resulting from the smell of burning flesh in the room. (spiritual flesh of course, its not like I roast people in my room...)

This story is meant to stir the heart of desire, is it righteous inside of us? My desire, pre-holy-spirit-conviction, was not. Yes I could bring up the argument that the reason I wanted the money was purely to advance God's Kingdom by giving me the means to quickly and easily build a life in which I could speak into others with out having the burden of finances on my back. But doesn't Jesus take that burden as well? And is my ministry in this life defined by my bank account? is my life? Is righteousness simply the means to be able to accomplish the advancement of The Kingdom in the simplest manner or is it succeeding despite circumstance and faithfully enduring, with Christ, through which ever trial that is set before you? Is God's Kingdom limited by funding? "Sorry can't build today, we just simply don't have the cash to admonish people about right living."

Some of you, if not all, are agreeing with me right now but at the same time having the thought that "But money would help." and your right, it does help. However our faith should not be limited by the trivial matter known as a budget. (Trivial in comparison to the glory of God, not trivial as in you shouldn't budget...that is foolish.) Now to a bigger point: Nearly a week after this conversation with God my friend, whom I used to live a reckless life with, came to visit me. After a weekend of fun, church, and fun he went home. I later received a text message about his want for more, his attraction to the life God had given to me, he asked me to teach him how to obtain righteous living..... Ummm what if I had asked for the hundred and fifty grand? A scary thought to be sure.

What do you want?

That sentence I write as a lonely loner in the middle of the page so as to allow you to fully reflect on the meaning. Such a small sentence thrown around flippantly in our day to day lives, every time we go to a fast food joint, or movie theater. Asked so sparingly through out relationships and friendships. The answers delivered upon billboards and inside of advertisements and television programs. Has man ever found satisfaction inside such boxes? Or has the destiny and satisfaction of desire only held true in the unveiling of moral words like honor, valor, strength, purity. I would vote for the latter. You may ask how words of such meaning would be found in such decisions as to take the money or to plead for someones salvation. Well isn't honor found in the respect of another? Is valor not found in the willingness to be knowingly shot into a mystery of danger without having the slightest clue of how it will be accomplished? Strength would be fighting against ones self-desire. And purity, making a decision that you know goes against all human conditions so as to shine forth the glory of Christ. Yes these words do reign truth in the answer to the question: What do you want?. But only if the answer reigns truth itself; how many times we have lied to our own souls by answering this question with "Money" "Clothing" "A vacation" "A relationship". Seek first the Kingdom of God and these will be added unto you...

My point is to challenge all of us to begin desiring righteous desires, seeking out Gods will above our own. Challenge accepted?... Anyways thanks for reading! until next time friends...

Driving Your Identity.

I am unsure of how to begin this excerpt, not that it needs a classy or dramatic beginning but I do like a good ice breaker. All [icebreakers] seem to be somewhat cheesy or cliche to me right now. It is truly amazing how ones mood can effect the little things. On a side note which has nothing to do with icebreakers or this blog post, can some one please message me on how it is I am supposed to correctly use the words 'Affect' and 'Effect'. It seriously eludes me. I've tried looking it up and I'm still oblivious as to the proper usage of both words. (Also if the word was or is used in the wrong context through out this blog...deal with it). Well I suppose that is as good an icebreaker as any... Now to the point.

This September I will be 23 years of age. Definitely not old to some but to others an infinite age that wont be reached for the astronomical time of 10 years (Yes sarcasm intended). Wow I am really struggling to stay on point, I do hope you can stay interested with my major writing flaws: one being running of on pointless tangents like this and the other is writing as if I were talking; a technique some loathe entirely but I find fun and easy to relate to. Anyways back on track, 23 years old: This is not a problem to me. I am excited to grow older; I see elders in my church and my soul grows passionate to journey into that age one day. However the problem I have been facing, that is perpetually discouraging me, is the fact that I am almost 23 and have not yet obtained my drivers license. To some this is a trivial matter of "who cares"; Well I do and this is my blog so read on or go back to Facebook and update your status or something.

Today I went in for my road test for the third time. I said to God the night and morning before "How can I pass this test Lord? Any help would... help" the answer I heard was "Pray while your instructor is in the car and you will do fine."

Easy enough.

SO testing time comes around and we get in the vehicle, as we are about to pull away I prayed for our journey. The test began, 45 minutes went by, I failed. In all my wisdom, knowledge, coolness, and righteousness I took the less prideful road upon hearing this news and graciously told my driving instructor that he had made a mistake... Wait, I said that wrong... In all my foolishness, lack of knowledge, hotheadedness, and sinfulness I took the less humble road upon hearing this news and bitterly argued with my driving instructor about how he was wrong in failing me. What a great way to display Christ-likeness and attract more people to the kingdom: Pray to God, undoubtedly revealing your Christianity, and than argue a meaningless point in which you make yourself look like a hypocrite and a loser. Smooooooooooooth. (I know that that word has entirely to many o's in it but I want to make a point of how stupid what I did was.)

*Before I go on I want to inform you that I am going to be pretty honest about who I am, not because I want to let you in on the secrets of my soul, I really don't; But, I need to establish a connection with you, the reader, so that you may fully understand and take something from this other than just a good (or bad) read.

Failure is such an empty word to me. It is deafening and also threatening. I loathe it. I have failed so much in life that I have placed a vendetta upon the word; my weapon of choice being success. I have made it a point to take on whatever God hands to me and succeed in it. I have been met with great favour; however, I have also found a major downfall in it: Pride. In my busyness of success, accomplishments and overcoming (Which are all great things) I can forget why I succeed, how I succeed and who I am succeeding for. Do I remember that it is God?

Now back to getting the license. In my mind when I fail my license test I hear a voice in my head saying the coldest words - "You are not a man" (The enemy known as satan). After this my mind begins to fill up with all sorts of 'logic' to enforce this small statement - "Being 23 and a male, I should have my license; Men Drive, that's what we are supposed to be good at. People are sick of giving this boy rides all over the place. What girl wants a boy who can't even pick her up for a date." (The enemy known as myself)

* Please, Please, Please do not take these statements and get all sentimental on me and try to encourage me by telling me that its okay you don't mind giving me rides or that I will find a great girl who doesn't care, blah blah blah. I am NOT looking for reassurance or encouragement, I have Christ for those things. I really just want you to know the thought process that can occur and I want you to relate it to your own thought process during a moment like this one.

So when I failed today I became angry. Angry with the instructor, angry with myself, and angry with God. In truth I almost began to cry when I argued with him, I was just so fed up with failing the test and with this voice in my head telling me that every time I failed I became less and less of a man. When I arrived back home I was alone and Began to voice my opinion on the matter to God.

"YOU SAID IT WOULD BE FINE!" I shouted.

"It was, you did great." God retorted.

"WHAT GIVES MAN!? I AM TIRED OF THIS! IVE FAILED THREE TIMES NOW! IS THERE EVEN A POINT IN TRYING!?" I then sat at the kitchen table frustrated and confused. I didn't even try to listen for an answer to my bellowing.

(Much more was said but I can't remember all of it, this is just a small paraphrase to give you an idea of our conversation)

A little while later I joined my boss to finish the day of work. Being a good friend I vented my feelings and frustrations to him. Being a man of God, he knew exactly what to say back. I wont get into detail about our discussion but it ended well and I felt better. I realized something important during our talk though and it wasn't even what we were discussing. God has spoken to me about this very thing, the first time I failed my drivers exam He said "Your identity is not found in this." I thought I understood what He meant, I was obviously wrong.

I've made a human test the deciding factor of my manhood and identity. How deeply flawed. Christ is my Identity, I am His creation, His son. I have found more out about myself taking his tests and failing then I have passing any man made test. I have overcome the bleak, dark, hole that was my life because He called and asked me to come. I have succeeded in most of the things He has set before me because He Himself has given me the resources to do so. How dare I place the value of my existence into a test made for nothing. I think of great names in the Bible: David, Paul, John, Abraham- not one of them got their license and they were all successful MEN of God. Strong men, devoted men, UN-licensed men!

Now I am not saying that I will stop trying and give up having my license for the rest of my years, that is foolishness. But I will give up allowing this test to be my defining moment! I will succeed because of God and in God, not because of myself! As for my identity; Who am I? Disciple? Servant? Son? ALL of these things wrapped up into one Michael Blackburn! I love God, people, and doing all that He [The Christ] has set before me. I will worship God all my days, dance like crazy in His love, serve Him until I live, and I will take anyone I can with me. My success is made relevant as I put a smile on His face, anything else isn't worth accomplishing. What can the enemy say to that?

Now to exhort you: Do you understand what affect your pride, anger, selfishness and actions have on the salvation of the world around you? You may one day be [and most likely have been] the deciding factor in someones decision to enter Heaven or be pushed in to hell. What in your life has taken control of who you are? Do you know what your destiny is and is that destiny planned out by God? I am asking myself these very same questions at this moment. Who we are will define our roll in this world and if we begin to allow something other then Christ to make us then it will inevitably alter the definition of our roll. So whats driving your identity?

Hero.

 “...a man, an Asian man, possibly Chinese or Thai. He walked carelessly through the crowd of people, which is not to say that he walked with out paying attention or straggled through lacking self control; No this man walked without care. Which, yes, is an improper use of the term; however, this man could not care-lessly (which isn't even a word) about anything in life. He walked with a shine on his face, a strut in his legs, a smooth saunter of his shoulders outlined his every movement. This man had found a pivotal character trait that humans suffer eternity seeking: freedom. Freedom of the cares of outward judgement, freedom of the cares of inward judgement, freedom of that little voice that haunts you saying 'you don't belong'.”

The Pastor of our church has recently started a session on judgement. (The main verse being Matthew 7:1-5) He discussed how we as people and we as Christians can come to conclusions about others upon viewing their outward appearance. He used the scripture as a mirror aimed towards the listeners, giving us a direct look into the judgement we cast onto others and revealing to us the same judgement being cast back at us. Quite the revelation was planted in my heart as I heard illustrations like “That boy is wearing a hat in church!” or “He has tattoo’s, he must be bad!”. My heart was turned and disrupted knowing that I had fallen to such trivial judgements towards my fellow human beings. My mind filled with memories as I looked around the sanctuary of the church. Memories of bitter judgements and petty flaws, some from long ago and some from that very morning. The Pastor concluded that Sunday’s message with the remembrance of our call as disciples, to love one another and to look at the hearts of one another and that there was room for correction when needed but not to assess somebodies heart by there hair colour or apparel.

That afternoon a few friends and I travelled to the city for the day to hang out, grab some food, and check out a jazz festival. Being around so many people reminded me quickly of how many times a day I cast stones at others. Having heard the sermon about judging others so recently my soul became convicted and felt ashamed of my nature. Latter that evening we sat down in the middle of an open field with a thousand others to enjoy some very interesting music and I began to watch people.

Staring at a man setting up a lawn chair with his wife I studied his facial features. Two lines creasing around his mouth upwards towards the outer edge of the nostrils, a rounded chin, ears that popped out from the sides of his head, he was probably late thirties and he wore a greyish ball cap and sweatshirt. Very plain, very simple, very boring.

“God, Your weird.” I stated in my mind. No answer or quick revelation followed; but, the spirit began to guide me and soon it became prominent that I was looking through eyes other than that of my own.

I noticed a man dancing with his son, just jumping and laughing. Normally I would have made small little cuts at his shoes and haircut but I could not for I was enamoured by the love that surrounded he and his offspring.

A lady stood on top of her quilt and began to jump and kick her feet at the waves of notes directed from the stage towards he ears. Her husband soon joined in and in no fancy way did they dance; but they did it with passion and excitement. A beautiful site to witness outside the walls of the church.

A woman with pop bottle glasses, long blonde braided hair awkwardly bobbed her head to the song with a joyful smile on her face. A loving husband stood next to her an took in the moments of romance.

All around I looked and stared and seen people. People loving, dancing, singing, playing and just soaking in the enjoyment of life. People staring, people thinking, people dreaming. People just congregating and being who they are. The joy that filled my heart as I watched them could have only been inspired by the Holy Spirit of God, for in my human state I would begin to criticize and make fun of people who are willing to be more of who they are then I know how.

Stop and imagine this scene; music, dancing, laughter, clapping, laughing, beauty.

We were created for this purpose; this magnificent scene is what Christ is so awestruck by. I, in a small way admired these people. It didn't matter what people were wearing, or what there skin colour was, their age was irrelevant. They weren’t stopping and telling their children to sit down and be quiet but rather allowing them to enjoy the fun and involving them in the wonderful 'shindig'. There was no definite outlined way to be, no proper form of sitting, standing or dancing. Some were conversing, some just walked around and met people, others like myself were just starring off at others.

In truth my thoughts found a rather strange question: Why doesn't Church service look more like this? I am in no way saying that Church service as is is wrong or bad, I love the way it is. Also I am in no way endorsing the 'do what ever you want' mentality or the 'be tolerant to all things' thinking. My point is more of what are we missing in the Church that this jazz festival had. We have music, fun people, love, dancing, clapping, you can stand in groups in the isles or at the front to worship, even better we have chairs! So what is it that says to those outside of the Church “You can be yourself at this jazz festival” or better what is it that says to them “You cannot be yourself inside of this Church”. Is it us? Is it our ability to look at the garb of another and state the condition of their heart? Or is it our omniscient knowing of who wants to be said hi to on Sunday morning or called on Thursday night?

I want to illustrate an example of a man I seen at this festival and I want you to allow your mind to really imagine this man walking by you. What would you think of him?

Tall and slender with long black hair, he wore white sporty sunglasses. Upon his head was a white and black, almost tiger print, bandana that allowed his hair to flow out the back and down his head. A black leather jacket hung on his shoulders followed by the cliche black jeans and cowboy boots. He wore an interesting shall around his neck that hung to his knees flowing with the same pattern as that of his bandana. A second shall coloured with brown and black followed the first around his neck and down his front. He carried a rather nice camera loosely by the strap, allowing it to swing and sway by his shins. Atop of his shoulder sat a bright blue parrot, nuzzling his hair and ear. He was obviously a man, an Asian man, possibly Chinese or Thai. He walked carelessly through the crowd of people, which is not to say that he walked with out paying attention or straggled through lacking self control; No this man walked without care. Which, yes, is an improper use of the term; however, this man could not care-lessly (which isn't even a word) about anything in life. He walked with a shine on his face, a strut in his legs, a smooth saunter of his shoulders outlined his every movement. This man had found a pivotal character trait that humans suffer eternity seeking: freedom. Freedom of the cares of outward judgement, freedom of the cares of inward judgement, freedom of that little voice that haunts you saying 'you don't belong'.

What does the church have to offer him? We offer freedom in Christ, but what if freedom is already obtained? Or at least believed that it is? What can we give him that says this will be better than what the world has to offer you? I will state that I highly doubt there is a moment in the day, when this man is out and about, that someone isn't starring at him, studying his physical characteristics with either disgust or intrigue. I wonder if any one ever bothers to ask him about his camera, the most uninteresting thing about him and yet maybe his deepest passion. I wonder what such a bold, courageous, passionate human being could do for the Kingdom of God.

I mean if he can wear, literally, whatever he likes including a parrot, couldn't he wear Christ with out hesitation if he understood the glory that would follow? Shouldn't I be able to do so! If there are men and women in the world, thousands upon thousands of men and women, who are willing to walk care-lessly through crowds and synagogues representing who they are and what they stand for should not we as servants of God be able to do the same if not better? (A sentence easily written in Bold.)

What can we be to those who already have what we are offering? I say we can be like The Christ for no one who doesn't have him can say that they do. I don't want to display Michael because if I am, the person looking in at me can say that they can achieve or obtain what they see. I want to display Christ for if I do any one looking in will stand in wonder at how I could be so courageous, so gentle, so unselfish, and most of all so loving; I want them to wonder how I could throw off all things human and put on something that is far more than a cut above.

What does this mean? Feeding the poor? Going on a missions trip? Dying on a cross?

This means loving: To prefer others above ourselves. To go to the people that you have criticized and find out why they like those shoes that you find so ugly (obviously don't tell them you think there shoes are ugly, that's just mean. Please try and keep up with the metaphors;). Pick up a conversation with the people around you and ask them what they like about... stuff. If we are always staring in the mirror trying to pick our own pimples, all we are ever going to see is those pimples and we will forget that there is a world outside our door waiting for heroes; men and women of valour who are ready and willing to do the one thing that every one is terrified of: to love and get to know the hearts of the rest of the world. There is a definite time to 'take the plank out of own eye' but only in the case of having to correct or judge another. When loving who cares what your problems are why not care about somebody else's? Go out and be a hero.

* I tried to make this blog with as little blasphemies as possible. It is obviously difficult to please everyone and also due to being a human it is also hard sometimes to speak of the Bible with out accidentally distorting its truths. If you have any questions or statements that come into conflict with my blog email me at michaelblackburn@live.ca and I would love to accommodate your reason. I love you guys and thank you all for reading.

No Record...

How to begin this, I do not know. There is no humor in what I have to write about today; nor is there a fancy, eloquent way of describing the event and lesson that I learned this weekend... Nay, more the truth I was opened to this weekend. A truth that I have known inside and out but only now have been given, by The Christ, a true revelation of its deep and passionate meaning.

 This weekend I was visiting some people "family" whom I used to live with. They now live in a small rural area a few hours away from me. Well there I attended the church that they go to ; a small spirit filled house ready to pull out the anointing oil and prophesy in a moments notice. Due to a youth retreat most of the attendee's were 65 and above (Which I personally do not mind at all: I love the spirits of the elderly.)

 After the service I was politely introduced to a few of the regular members. One man in particular stuck out to my soul; he was around 6'2" tall maybe less and around 230lbs and he was 80 years of age. He greeted me with a gentle smile and a hard handshake.

 Laughing as he firmly jerked my arm he commented " Wheres your muscle boy? They aren't working you hard enough! Your arm is so flimsy ha ha!"

 I would like to make it clear that he was not being mean he was just being a man and it was actually quite humorous.

 Leaving the church we then decided to go to breakfast at the local diner. A few minutes after being seated we were joined by a few of the fellow church goers that we had just seen. To my surprise the giant old man who had commented on my hand shake sat right next to me.

 At this point I would like to explain something for the women reading. When men meet each other there is, I believe, 3 immediate possible outcomes:

   1. We don't like them.

   2. We do like them.

   3. We respect and look up to them.

  (Other possibilities are available but they can be most likely related back to these 3.)

 Anyways for some reason my soul respected and looked up to this man in a small way. Larger than life and stronger then most he was 80 and still tough, still big, still ready to be a man.

 We talked and ate and drank coffee; it was good. I said my goodbyes and was actually saddened to leave so early considering the fellowship with such new and interesting people.

 Upon leaving the restaurant I was informed that the man that I had met and held a fondness for had just been released from prison for being guilty of sexually abusing children...

 My feelings for pedophiles could be counted as sin.

 In the car I was silent; lost inside an internal conflict with God. "Why didn't you let me know God? Why didn't you let my soul know? That man was an animal!"

 The Lord, King of Kings, my daddy answered so beautifully. "Before you knew that he was/is a pedophile you loved that man, you desired his company, you respected him. You had know idea of the wrongs he had committed; you only knew the love that you held for him. That is what I mean when I say that my love keeps no record of wrongs. I literally don't know/care about your wrong doings I just love you and him. I didn't tell you so that you may feel the love that I have for such a messed up human being."

 I write this entry to speak to all of us living under The Blood of Christ and to those who don't know the freedom that it brings. That is how much He loves us. Our wrong doings will never stand in the way of his love, his will, his desire to know us and be with us. We haven't even begun to fathom the extent of His (Christs) goodness and love. I hope that this speaks to all of you, I pray that it changes something in you. Any one who reads this and doesn't yet know Christ and you have more questions, just ask.